Sunday, August 19, 2012

F***ING POSITIVE

Apparently life had to get bizarre again to get me writing a new post. After a year of pastry school, internship at a hotel and working for a small bakery just until i made sure they were crazy, i finally decided to build my own brand, be my own boss.

This was not my initial choice, since i wanted to experience different kitchens and build up my knowledge before i dive into the industry with a name. But...
Things did not go as planned. See the main problem, in Turkey, is you either have to deal with mostly ignorant cooks (not chefs) in a hotel, or have to work in a bakery owned by someone who absolutely has no idea on baking. There are lots of boutique bakeries popping up n every corner, but inside they're such disasters that you have a hard time not blowing your boss' head off...or better yet chopping it with your chefs knife:) yes things get wild... You frequently find yourself fantasizing about these sorts of things with a smile on your face:)

Of course these all would be bearable for the experience, but what you sadly realize is that the experience is not there to be gained. No one knows anything, no one cares about the proper ways of anything, or the importance of proper ingredients. And the list goes on... Main mindset is "bakeries are profitable" rather than "we love baking".

Was the only option building my own business? Of course not, i could always go abroad and work to find the kind of experience i'm looking for. Leaving this country has always been my dream anyways... So i could pack things up and go... And that probably would have been the smarter choice.

So what kept me back? Well my main goal was always the States. But i also have an almost-7-year very very precious and fun relationship. And for me, such a long distance means accepting that you are breaking up. It cannot be a relationship if you only see eachother twice a year. But i also didn't want to push anyone to anything, arrange it all and let him suddenly find himself in the States:) i could go on and on about this, so let's leave it at that.

So...
I am building my own business. Since april. Yayyyyy:) But the period from april to now has mostly been building in my head:) Made some contacts, arranged a couple of wholesale customer, planned, planned, planned, got scared, got a confidence boost by my boyfriend, and planned again. Applied to a support program by the government for entrepreneurs. And the place has been chosen and the construction has started. It will probably be ready by mid-september. I will write in detail about the whole project on my next post.

So...
I'm all confident, excited, supported by everyone... Then life happens. And he gets an interview with Google. Goes through the first one successfully, and then the second one, and now waiting on the third one. Hopefully he will land a position in Europe soon. Fingers crossed, really crossed:) I want him to get it, and really do believe he will get it. But also cannot keep myself from thinking: was it gonna be me who stays behind, while everyone else goes? Seriously??? How stupid am i to build a business in a country i hate?! How bizarre?!
So my current state of mind: Fucking Positive!


PS: getting into detail about everything would probably turn out to be a small book, so i hope this will be an intriguing summary to keep you following:)