Birthday Party, D Style:)

Last friday was the day that i died. Have you ever just stood up for fourteen hours straight? I have. See what happens after spending suchh a long time without ever sitting on your sweet sweet soft buttocks is that you go home at 3am, eager for the best sleep ever; and you just can't. I could not sleep for a full thirty minutes whole through the night, because of the torturous ache in my feet and legs, and of the fact that i kept serving charcuterie stuff to imaginary people as soon as i closed my eyes. And apparently i talked (more like murmured) all night:)) And, yes, i did go to work the next day, too.

Anyways,

other than being the most tiring experience, it was also the most exciting. We had 140 guests in the house, all the creme de la creme of Istanbul and a couple of celebrities. And, luckily, my post was the busiest. All the kitchen was done with its service by 11pm, but Gulden and I just kept serving up to around 2 am. Proscuittos, roast beef, goose breast, pate, all kinds of feet-smelling French cheese and breads... And also burned cinnamon on the side to level the cheese smell a little. I would have never thought the charcuterie would be such a popular spot. With all this, i experienced for the first time the great feeling of teamwork and what it will be like when we finally open up the restaurant. It is an incredible thing, the whole team in harmony; the service staff, the bar and us, the kitchen. There's no way that you could feel insecure among any kind of crowd with that group of staff. And i also realized that it is just my thing and an amaaaaazing thing to literally get your hands into your work. I love love love working with my hands. I always was a touchy person, always have a level of physical contact along with mental and visual; so i guess i found my second soulmate:)

Closure

So...

I've graduated from a considerably reputable university in Turkey. Studied economics, for a fact. Thought i had my life rolled out in front of me, smooth as butter:D It didn't take long to find out that it's not. Anyways, i grabbed onto my most positive-est mood and dove into the world of job-seeking. If your state of job-seeking lasts longer than a couple of months, you come to find that there's actually a similar process of 'closure' between breakups and unemployment. You could picture it as your career dumps you right when you were so happy with it:) The first step is ANGER: You get angry at all the companies you applied to, for not hiring the perfect junior candidate you think you are:) You start telling all your friends about how they didn't even get back to you, it becomes your main subject. Then comes the second stage, SELF-BLAME: "Maybe i'm not that brilliant afterall", then it becomes "Okay, i may have worked harder, yet i'm still a good candidate", and finally becomes "I know now, i'm plain stupid; really though i wasn't though (in a weeping tone). Then comes the COOL DOWN step, in which you calm yourself down, get all the comments that imply the problem is NOT you. You convince yourself that the CRISIS is underneath it all... Getting closer and closer to closure, right? NO! Damn! You find yourself right back on step one, furiously boring some frind to death, yapping about how stupid all companies are for NOT hiring you:))

Well, for a walk through of the whole process, you could just get any chick-flick about a break up and just imagine the guy leaving you is your career.

So...

The next step, at which i stand, is innovation. Haha i just like the word, you could call it hope. And here, i go into my current situation's details:

As i mentioned, i am an econ grad, which is actually not the easiest major to study (although most engineers think otherwise). I knew from day 1 (okay, maybe day 500) that THIS was not for me. But i also liked some of the subjects very much, still i don't know if i was just trying to convince myself to loving it. So, i did finish it.

(Economics is actually a very broad subject and it has a big bunch of working areas. But in Turkey the bouquet becomes much smaller, so you end up with only few choices ahead of you. )

I desperately looked for marketing jobs, but being an econ major in an environment of economical crisis made it impossible for me to find a marketing job. So, i decided to give it a try: my own subject. Long story short, after 5 months of internship in an investment corporation, i had a spoiled meltdown and decided to make a u-turn.

A u-turn to culinary career:) There was always the dream in the future of that little bistro or bakery. So, i thought, why not now?! I am good at it, and am already an artistic person. Why not?! You all can guess the reaction of the older generation:) They think that i lost my mind through time, and will find out soon how stupid a mistake i am making and return back to the warm and cozy arms of economics:D Luckily i've got some supporters around to give me the boost up.

So...

I applied to a culinary institute here in Istanbul and actually got accepted right away. Yet i don't have the finance for it. And now i'm in a desperate search of a scholarship or a donation:)

I have no idea whether this path will lead me to closure or throw me back to step 1. Hopefully leading to closure=the perfect career, i will be sharing the next steps of my bizzare life triangle with you.

Sleep tight