Since you've been gone...

It's been a decade since my last post and i feel like 'just another one' of those failed bloggers, but i've written a post each day on my mind, you just didn't see it:)

I've started that culinary school i've been talking about for the last two years, the very expensive one:/ There seemed no other options for the moment, so i said what the hack:) So, it started on february 1st and i've recieved a 4-months education in the simplest form.. My answer to anyone whose willing to take this way: The only thing i bought, and you will have bought with this money is a diploma to open up a little path for you, other than that it's a barely-mediocre education, so on that part don't get your hopes up. You still have to educate yourself, but the stamp you get is powerful in Turkey for the moment:) PS: With this you also get the cutest stamp of being a spoiled brat from MSA :P

So let's get on to other things it's brought into my life.

I've had the chance to meet a rising star chef from NYC, watched him like a 5-year-old as he did his magic with liquid nitrogen. Then a friend denied him the pleasures of talking about food ( Sorry that

most of you didn't get this sentence, but the ones who did probably had a good laugh:) )... I've found two great friends that make time pass by so easily that you always end up saying: Damn, it's midnight already, we haven't even watch our movies yet:/

We had a hot hot lecture of biscuits from Biscolata guys Oscar and Haley. At that exact moment i realized what i've actually paid for, and felt reaaaallly good about it;))Here's also a link to their commercial, for those of you who don't already know:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAesQfnvzd4

Anyways,

I now have started my internship at a well-known (worldwide) hotel's pastry kitchen. For diplomatic purposes i'll keep my opinions to myself for now, i'm sure you would all be understanding. It's been 10 days or so, and what i feel when i get home everyday is like somebody beat the bleep out of me all day through. My feet hurt, but not so much as my back... Kinda feels like my spine has been used for a Jenga game, and one of the vertebras is about to slip and lead to a destruction:) But i'm sure i'll get used to it, or to a good massage after it... Yet the pain is also most satisfying as it is from actually doing things. I've never even touched a dirty dish, or wiped the floors... For the 8 hours i work, i'm almost always baking baking baking... cakes, financiers, brownies, pannacottas, creme brules, etc... and ofcourse chocolate:)

Besides all that, i've also had a couple of orders in the last weeks. I'm making my fortune out of nasty nasty cakes and cupcakes. Bachelorette business is good, i may soon rule the bachelorette parties in Istanbul with my cupcakes, so here are some pics of that, too...

So...

apart from how tiring it is, everything is good. Can't wait to finish this internship and actually start working... I apologize for such an unorganised post, but i will spend more time on posting and writing fun and interesting ones again...

Eat chocolate, be good and i will see u later:)

Culinary State of Turkey

When i realized i am now able to clearly define the situation, i imimediately wanted to share it with everyone who listens. It's about the lack of acceptance of culinary work as an art form. Sadly in Turkey, a chef is just some underdog prepping the food in the kitchen... Although there's been some change in this perception in the last couple of years, it's still the restaurant owner who gets the main focus and in most cases is mistakenly referred to as the chef. Yes, we do start to hear more about chef's restaurants and quality food. We are beginning to learn more about what the perfect form we are to expect in a plate is. But, this improvement is not actually (not for all cases, but most) the result of enhanced knowledge, but of the guidance of trends. It's now trendy to go eat at a classy restaurant and know the chef's name. But, what actually happens is that, the names we know are not the chef's names. And this becomes more shameful, when the one making this mistake is a food magazine. Restaurant owners are included under articles like Istanbul's best chefs, among real chefs who've spent their years in this art... ( This is my actual observation that got the MSA executive chef to immediately like me:) )

Anyways i could complain for hours about the subject, but you all got the point. So, let's improve it..

First must-know:

There's a strict distinction between a baker and a pastry chef. In Turkey we see this distinctions only in Hotels or Hotel restaurants. Everyone else is a baker except hotel chefs. Chef, actually, is not as cheap a term as we use it in here...

If we say a chef is the scientist, then a baker is the industrial partner. Industrial partner has to make his main product better, while chef develops the new methods for him to do so...

To simply explain; a pastry chef has to think of presentation ten times harder, while a baker has done his job when he's got the flavor just perfect. A pastry chef has to come up with new techniques and have a variety of them on hand, while the baker needs to have the highest experience on his technique to make the specific product on the spot each time...

These examples do not propose any less respect for either occupation, but merely defines the distinction inbetween. A perfect product by a baker takes us to our childhood, while a perfect product by a pastry chef takes us to a whole new world. And either is as much valuable yet different for me. I sincerely hope we- as a culture insanely based on food unlike any other culture- will get to this same level of almost-worldwide knowledge in culinary arts...

So, a decision awaits... Will i be a pastry chef, or a baker?!

Closure

So...

I've graduated from a considerably reputable university in Turkey. Studied economics, for a fact. Thought i had my life rolled out in front of me, smooth as butter:D It didn't take long to find out that it's not. Anyways, i grabbed onto my most positive-est mood and dove into the world of job-seeking. If your state of job-seeking lasts longer than a couple of months, you come to find that there's actually a similar process of 'closure' between breakups and unemployment. You could picture it as your career dumps you right when you were so happy with it:) The first step is ANGER: You get angry at all the companies you applied to, for not hiring the perfect junior candidate you think you are:) You start telling all your friends about how they didn't even get back to you, it becomes your main subject. Then comes the second stage, SELF-BLAME: "Maybe i'm not that brilliant afterall", then it becomes "Okay, i may have worked harder, yet i'm still a good candidate", and finally becomes "I know now, i'm plain stupid; really though i wasn't though (in a weeping tone). Then comes the COOL DOWN step, in which you calm yourself down, get all the comments that imply the problem is NOT you. You convince yourself that the CRISIS is underneath it all... Getting closer and closer to closure, right? NO! Damn! You find yourself right back on step one, furiously boring some frind to death, yapping about how stupid all companies are for NOT hiring you:))

Well, for a walk through of the whole process, you could just get any chick-flick about a break up and just imagine the guy leaving you is your career.

So...

The next step, at which i stand, is innovation. Haha i just like the word, you could call it hope. And here, i go into my current situation's details:

As i mentioned, i am an econ grad, which is actually not the easiest major to study (although most engineers think otherwise). I knew from day 1 (okay, maybe day 500) that THIS was not for me. But i also liked some of the subjects very much, still i don't know if i was just trying to convince myself to loving it. So, i did finish it.

(Economics is actually a very broad subject and it has a big bunch of working areas. But in Turkey the bouquet becomes much smaller, so you end up with only few choices ahead of you. )

I desperately looked for marketing jobs, but being an econ major in an environment of economical crisis made it impossible for me to find a marketing job. So, i decided to give it a try: my own subject. Long story short, after 5 months of internship in an investment corporation, i had a spoiled meltdown and decided to make a u-turn.

A u-turn to culinary career:) There was always the dream in the future of that little bistro or bakery. So, i thought, why not now?! I am good at it, and am already an artistic person. Why not?! You all can guess the reaction of the older generation:) They think that i lost my mind through time, and will find out soon how stupid a mistake i am making and return back to the warm and cozy arms of economics:D Luckily i've got some supporters around to give me the boost up.

So...

I applied to a culinary institute here in Istanbul and actually got accepted right away. Yet i don't have the finance for it. And now i'm in a desperate search of a scholarship or a donation:)

I have no idea whether this path will lead me to closure or throw me back to step 1. Hopefully leading to closure=the perfect career, i will be sharing the next steps of my bizzare life triangle with you.

Sleep tight